Monday, August 4, 2008

Sheer Genius

Barelyblack Odumma has a brilliant new energy policy. Here it is, short and sweet, the product of a true wunderkind:

"There are things you can do individually, though, to save energy," Obama said. "Making sure your tires are properly inflated – simple thing. But we could save all the oil that they're talking about getting off drilling – if everybody was just inflating their tires? And getting regular tune-ups? You'd actually save just as much!"

Now, if I wanted advice about making my car run more efficiently, this would be just fine. And talk about your temporary solutions. "I won't support drilling for more oil that we know exists, and is there for the taking, but I will support short-term measures that help us make each drop of what little oil we have go as far as possible--until we run out, of course. Remember The Road Warrior? That's what we have to look forward to. Ka-chunk Ka-chunk Ka-chunk!"

Golly, I'm ready to go out and vote for the guy, right now! Can't we have erection day a little early, this year?

Barelyblack isn't addressing the problem. The issue is the outrageous gas prices at the pump. The issue is keeping our known oil supply off limits through force of law, which artificially ensures that gas remains high-priced, and climbs higher still. There's nothing organic about the gas prices in this country. The law of supply and demand works, but what happens when the available supply dwindles, as a direct result of government interference?

Rather than discussions of tire inflation at proper 44 psi capacity (or whatever), new spark plugs, and vehicles that run on hippie flatulence fumes, a better solution is for the government to get its meddling, unconstitutional, stupid, dependency-oriented carcass out of the way. How about that? Let's build refineries, explore for oil off our coasts, in the heartland, and in the Gulf of Mexico, and tap the extant resources we have in ANWR.

Odumma should get on-board this project. As Bruce Willis said, "Stop being part of the problem, and start being part of the solution," minus about twenty expletives.

Imagine a poster for his campaign: trees and mountains stretching into Heaven in the background; a glistening black pipeline gushing oil down to the lower fifty; beside the pipeline stands a tall, graceful caribou; perched atop its majestic back is our next president, Barelyblack Odumma, staring off into the future of HopeChange with a speckled owl blinking from his shoulder.

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