Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Half Right

Even after Obama bought a box of Cracker Jacks, rummaged around through the sticky mess, and withdrew the document that he now claims is his birth certificate, more than half of Republicans still don't buy what he's selling.

More than a week after the White House unearthed President Obama's original, long-form, Hawaii birth certificate, only 48% of Republicans polled said they believe he was born in the United States.

In a poll conducted by Public Policy Polling from May 5-8 of 610 Americans who usually support Republicans in primaries, 34% said they did not believe Obama was born in the U.S. while 18% said they still aren't sure.

Ha ha. "Unearthed." I like that. I suppose we won't see the real thing until they find Jimmy Hoffa and check his moldering pockets.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day

To all the longsuffering mothers out there.

You know who you are.

A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. -- Irish Proverb

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Down on the Corner

Early in the morning
Round about praying time,
Barry runs down to the mosque
And gets himself in line.
Waiting for the Mahdi,
Brand-new world to come;
But if you think he's Muslim, well,
You're a racist scum.

Down on the corner,
Out in the street,
Barry and the goat boys are praying.
Hating infidels is neat.

You don't need a long-form
Just to hang around;
But if you've got a fake one,
Won't you lay that booger down?
'Round here we ain't picky
'Bout where you were birthed:
Kalamazoo or Timbuktoo,
Mars, Pluto, or Earth.

Down on the corner,
Out in the street,
Bammy and the aliens are cooking.
Sauteed birthers sure taste sweet.

Let's go get bin Laden.
Kill him till he's dead.
Put a bullet through his beard
And another in his head.
You don't need no snapshots
Or Youtube video.
You'll just have to take the word
Of the Magical Negro.

Down on the corner,
Out in the street,
"Barry in 2012," they're saying.
"Rigged elections can't be beat!"

With apologies to Creedance Clearwater Revival

Monday, May 2, 2011

Osama bin Laden Reportedly Ventures for Hotter Climes

The Mendacious Messiah has reported that Osama bin Laden was killed by American forces in Pakistan -- no doubt by utilizing covert operations strategies developed by the president, himself.

It's interesting that this news comes to us a mere four days after Obama released his long-form birth certificate to the American people for the first time. Does anyone find this coincidental?

I suspect two possibilities: either bin Laden has been pushing up daisies for weeks or months, but Obama has kept the story under wraps for a rainy day, or Obama has known of bin Laden's whereabouts for some time, but withheld the killing stroke as a distraction from those other even sillier but damaging distractions -- his birth certificate and eligibility. In fact, given that Obama is the source of this report, taking bin Laden's death with a grain of salt isn't an unreasonable position.

Notice the quickness of Obama in taking credit for the terrorist's death. It's worth noting that Obama gets credited by himself and the media when positive events occur, but when things go awry, Obama shares not one whit of blame.