Monday, April 16, 2007

To Bee or Not to Bee

Are mobile phones wiping out our bees?: Scientists claim radiation from handsets are to blame for mysterious 'colony collapse' of bees.

The theory is that radiation from mobile phones interferes with bees' navigation systems, preventing the famously homeloving species from finding their way back to their hives. Improbable as it may seem, there is now evidence to back this up.

Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) occurs when a hive's inhabitants suddenly disappear, leaving only queens, eggs and a few immature workers, like so many apian Mary Celestes. The vanished bees are never found, but thought to die singly far from home. The parasites, wildlife and other bees that normally raid the honey and pollen left behind when a colony dies, refuse to go anywhere near the abandoned hives.

Gives new meaning to the old adage, "You can't go home, again." And how do you like "Colony Collapse Disorder?" Isn't that a British description of the American Revolution? Sounds painful. Who knew bees had their own pathological conditions? Kinda like drunks who suffer from Ambulatorius Interruptus.

In other news, globalgore warming is culling the polar bears, hunters are systematically wiping out Bambi and his friends with glee, Flipper became sushi because of homies playin' dey rap too lowd, and I just killed a singular horsefly specimen with a flyswatter.

Thus another species hovers on the brink of extinction.

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