Gerald R. Ford, R.I.P.

The 38th president died tuesday at age 93, I assume from natural causes. Either that or the sweltering evil of global warming. I must admit to little knowledge of the man or the intricacies of his presidency; but from what I do know, he seemed a decent, respectable fellow. Certainly he comported himself with class and vigor, keeping active while refraining from mugging for the cameras at every conceivable opportunity. Compare his out-of-office behavior to that of Jimmy "The Expert" Carter, for example. Carter styles himself a fount of wisdom on such items as foreign policy (hyuk), American values (snort), and discovering the fine, microscopic distinctions between Israel and Nazi Germany (guffaw). Yes, Mr. Carter, you've done good work for Habitat for Humanity, but this doesn't provide an all-expenses-paid pass for public jackassery. Putting it mildly, you don't know peanuts about most of the subjects upon which you expound liberally--pun intended. Nor does writing tomes of such gravity as Palestinian Peace, Jewish Terror, I Trust Mahdi Ahmadinejad, or Crucify Him: My Take on the Bush Presidency mean that you have any more knowledge of these matters than the typical North Korean. Actually, it means you're a self-important and self-deluded idiot who should shun the public realm and keep within the confines of the Hindsight Is 20/20 Club.

I keep hearing radio talk-show hosts and pundimwits on tv say that Carter is out of control, then qualify this with. . ."and he's eighty-two years old." I'm sorry, how is this relevant? Our dearly-departed President Ford was much older than that, without any of the attendant moronics. Nor did Ronald Reagan dash to and fro, in his later years, screeching that jihadis just want understanding. This is an insult to those of great age and clear moral wisdom. Unless he's under the duress of dotage-induced senility, then bringing up his octogenarianism is an evasion of the real issue: that Carter's problem has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with being a relativist ass.