From the "What Would Chuck Norris Do" website:
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
President Bush DID have a sure fire plan to end the war in Iraq, However Chuck Norris was busy that day.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
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