Sunday, December 5, 2004

God Protects Fools and Tennesseeans

A few jokes about Tennessee folk. Call it a little self-deprecating humor:


The owner of a golf course in Tennessee was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the Univ. of Tennessee and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, then replied,

"Everything but my earrings."

You gotta love those Tennessee women.
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A group of TN. friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for
the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under
the weight of an eight-point buck.

"Where's Henry?" the others asked.

"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the
trail," the successful hunter replied.

"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they
inquired.

"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to
steal Henry!
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Regarding the year 2000, a senior at Tennessee was overheard saying ...
when the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Tennessee."

When asked why, he stated that everything happens here 20 years later
than the rest of the civilized world.
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The young Tennessean came running into the store and said to his buddy,
"Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"

Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"

The young Tennessean answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license
number."
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A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-81. The trooper
asked, "Got any ID?"

The driver replied, "Bout whut?"
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A Tennessean had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and
proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind
it.

Then he got back in the car to wait.

A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned
around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.

The man replied, "I have a flat tire."

The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"

The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares
in the front and flares in the back! I never did understand it neither."

* * *

Tennessee, my home state. Gotta love it!

I bet y'all're plannin' a move down South, any day, now, right? Jest bring yer best rifle, some cold drinks, yer trusty ol' houn'dawg, and lots of shoes. We been goin' barefoot down here, way too long.

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