Like a Turkey Pines for Thanksgiving

I keep seeing bumper stickers with the caption: Miss Me Yet?, followed by a delightful photo of Jorge W. Bushandez. Let me just go ahead and assure everyone that I miss him like a Dalmatian misses Cruella de Vil. Like Dracula longs for Quincey Morris. Or a sot yearns for the good old days of Prohibition.

Here's one reason why: George W Bush: Kanye West attack was worst moment of presidency

Contemplate this revelation for a moment. On September 11, 2001, approximately three thousand innocent Americans died in the worst terrorist attack on U.S. soil in our country's history. That was not the lowest point of Bush's presidency. Thousands of American soldiers have died in Iraq and Afghanistan, for reasons that baffle even those whose lifelong ambition is to drink Bush's bathwater. Seeing flag-draped coffins rolling in like parcels on a conveyor belt didn't define the nadir of his presidency. An influx of millions of illegal aliens and the cultural and economic disaster they carried with them didn't phase Bush; in fact, he loved every minute of benefiting his rich, greedy cronies with cheap labor at your expense. Neither massive spending increases signed into law by his pen, nor the financial ruination of our country manifest in bailouts and "stimulus" programs even gave him a moment's pause.

But enter a ghetto thug with an I.Q. lower than my shoe-size, a talentless punk who enjoys storming stages and horning in on the fifteen minutes of waifish music starlets, a person with all of the class of a bum made pariah amongst the other back-alley bums for his failures at personal hygiene -- that individual's opinion is what gives Dubya the wonky britches. Imagine that.

See, Kanye thought Bush was a racist because he didn't go to Nawleuhns during Hurricane Kakillya and provide each welfare case a personalized limo ride outside the radius of nature's bigotry. Why, the nerve of Bush not aiding and abetting the looters, rapists, and vandals in looting, raping, and vandalizing! And only an inveterate racist wouldn't brave the bulging levees and hold back Lake Pontchartrain by the sheer force of his will.

I can't wait to read Bush's new memoir, Mi Casa Es Su Casa. I'm sure it's full of steaming nuggets like this story.

Maybe we'll learn that he picked Dick Cheney for Vice President because his first choice got himself deported back to Mexico.