The Obama administration is looking to change the way illegal aliens are housed in America by giving them a kinder, gentler, "Club Fed" resort-style life of luxury complete with art classes, movie nights, bingo, e-mail, unmonitored phone lines, continental breakfast, hanging plants and fresh carrot sticks.
An internal Immigration and Customs Enforcement e-mail dated May 27 revealed many "low-risk" illegal-alien detainees will also enjoy "free movement," "relaxed security measures," elimination of "lockdowns" and expanded visiting hours, the Houston Chronicle reported.
And every Friday means opera night -- conducted in Spanish, of course, for Sergio's listening and viewing pleasure. After that, it's boat drinks on the deck of the U.S.S. Aztlan, snorkling in the Caribbean, and caviar and Chardonnay under swaying palms.
Remember, the people instituting these asinine policies are the same ones who assure us that our detention facilities don't have the inmate capacity or enough beds to house all these art connoisseurs.
According to the report, ICE officials said the makeover is part of a larger effort to make immigration detention less penal and more humane.
Heaven forfend that we treat criminals like criminals. Why, the mere thought makes my truffles back up. However, since I now know that "penal" is a synonym for "inhumane," I suppose I'll get over it.
Beth Gibson, ICE senior counselor to Assistant Secretary John Morton and a leader of the detention-center overhaul, told the Chronicle ICE is seeking to detain illegals in the least restrictive manner possible while making certain that they leave the country if ordered to do so.
"When people come to our custody, we're detaining them to effect their removal," she said. "It's about deportation. It's not about punishing people for a crime they committed."
Then why detain or deport them? This liar is pretending that illegal aliens are not committing crimes by effecting illegal entry. Eligibility for deportation means that you are a criminal, by definition. Federal law allows a penalty of up to six months in prison for the first offense, and up to twenty years for the second.
It doesn't get more anti-American than a deliberate policy of treating foreign invaders better than U.S. citizens. But given that we have a president who harbors a rank hatred for all things American -- a hatred that saturates the warp and woof of his every statement or decision -- should this come as a surprise?
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