1. He’s black. Except he isn’t; he’s half-black. Hence: “Barelyblack.” Oh, well, he’s black enough for you, and that’s what matters most, yes? I mean, having the first “black” person in the Oval Office is far more important than silly questions of character, oath-keeping, or support for policies that don’t do violence to liberty. This is an historic occasion. Sheesh, homies, let’s have a little perspective.
2. You’re a leftist. Karl Marx had it right. Red Uncle Joe was slandered and vilified. Communism worked just fine on paper—improper implementation marred its success in practice; and as our teachers told us, “practice makes perfect.” Big Brother does it better. Yes, you have the T-shirt. The only good fetus is one that has ceased its irksome kicking. The State knows best how to spend your money, and will take it at gunpoint and demonstrate its charitable demeanor. Each night, you whisper a prayer to Saint Hillary. “All power to the worker Soviet!”
3. You’re a knee-jerk Demonrat. Your great-granddaddy voted Demonrat. Your granddaddy voted Demonrat. Your daddy voted Demonrat. You survived the abortion, so now that you’re all grown up, there’s nothing left for you to do but vote Demonrat. It’s a family tradition, and you’ll do your darnedest to carry the torch to the next generation--if it survives long enough to procure a voter registration card.
4. You’re ignorant. You don’t know the difference between the Constitution and constipation. You think that exercising your right to bear arms means wearing a tank-top. The Declaration of Independence was the day you stood up from the dinner table and told your momma that you weren’t about to eat those Brussels sprouts. What you don’t know spans the breadth and depth of eternity, but you see no reason why this should serve as an obstacle to your voting. After all, pulling that lever is the culmination of a popularity contest, and Barelyblack talked a better game. At least, that’s what Oprah told you.
No comments:
Post a Comment