Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Prelude to a Sermon

Overheard during the "hymnal" session at Barack Obama's Church of Blackitude:

My man Barack,
He black.
He ain' white!

When da Man git ya down,
Obama comin' aroun,'
An' he takin' on Hill
Wit'out gittin' shrill.

Now he gonna rep-uh-zent
All da homies an' hoods;
He creepin' to da Black Howse
While da creepin' be good.

An' he 'bout ta bus' a cap
In all da howse niggas.
Oh, it gives me da sniggas
When he pull dose triggas.
He diggin' down deep
Like a l'il black chigga,
An' da itch dat ya scratch
Git bigga an' bigga.

He comin' on strawng
Like da National Det,
Poppin' on da muzzle,
Takin' Hill to da vet.
He a ink-jet threat
To da Lizardette,
An' he tawkin' up da Bible
From a high minaret.
He a big-time Black-powah marionette.
He take yo life in his han's an' play Russhun Roolette.

So git down wif Obama,
Cuz he sellin' da drama.
He don' like Brahma or da Dalai Lama,
But he 'bout ta let loose a big "Yo Mamma!"
To a smelly camel jockey by da name'a Osama.

He givin' free helth care
Wit' style an' flair,
An' he handin' out cheks
To da brothas on wellfare.
He suaver den Kildare
So ya bettah beware!
He dumpin' Hill down a stair
Like a crip in a wheelchair.

Now I gots ta mention McCain--
He insane in da membrane--
Obama gonna hit 'im like a bullet train;
Won' be nuffin' lef' but a greasy ol' stain.
So doncha complain; maintain an' refrain
From callin' him "BHO" or "Barack Hussein."

He bringin' on Change.
If ya find dat strange,
Well, let me explange
His national gearchange.

We need ourselves a whole lotta Progress;
I confess I guess we need ta fix diss mess.
He kickin' sum butt like a bully at recess,
An' slippin' threw da cracks like da monstah in Loch Ness.
I profess I regress when he starts ta impress,
An I can't supress; I jus' acquiesce:
Ever'thing starts ta coalesce
When I break out my trusty ol' Afferkin headdress.
But I digress.

Ya see, Big's gittin' Bigga,
An bettah iz bettah;
Da grass gittin' greenah, an'
Da sea gittin' wettah.
Da sky gittin' blue-ah,
So take dat, crackuh!
Barack keep on gittin blackah an' blackah;
He gonna rock yo worl' like a
Septembah hijackah.

So take heed of my rap,
An don' gimme no crap.
Watch my lips flap
While I steal yo hubcap.
Hear my mind snap
Like a well-oiled mousetrap.
An' whatevah ya does,
Don' ax fo' a recap!

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