Wednesday, November 21, 2007


I'm sure this is the gist of most U.S. automated phone conversations, these days:

"Hello, you have reached the English Department of Mierda University. We appreciate your call.

"For Spanish, press 1.
"For Arabic, press 2.
"For Italian, press 3.
"For French, press 4.
"For Swedish, press 5.
"For Russian, press 6.
"For Cantonese, press 7.
"For Japanese, press 8.
"For Portuguese, press 9.
"For Esperanto, press 10.
"For Afrikaans, press 11.
"For Tagalog, press 12.
"For Egyptian, press 13.
"For Hindi, press 14.
"For Mohawk, press 15.
"For Pidgin, press 16.
"For Gaelic, press 17.
"For Hittite, press 18.
"For Quechua, press 19.
"For Klingon, press 20.
"For Yiddish, press 21.
"For Sanskrit, press 22.
"For Nahuatl, press 23.
"For Rapa Nui, press 24.
"For Sumerian, press 25.
"For Carib, press 26.
"For Rasta, press 27, mon.
"For Maori, press 28.
"For Zulu, press 29.
"For Etruscan, press 30.
"For Vulcan, press 31.
"For Quenya, press 32.
"For Cthulhuian, press 33.
"For Ebonics, slam tirty-fo, nigga.
"For English, press *666, and we'll transfer."

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