Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Newsy Nonsense

Hillary says she'd give up some powers, if corona--um, I mean elected. She says she'd limit her use of the IRS as a hit squad to just her most visible political enemies, create a "five-year plan" for the dissolution of the proletariat and conversion of our form of government from republican to Communist, restrict assassinations of former cronies to two per annum, commit rare High Crimes and Misdemeanors, allow only illegal aliens universal health care, confine her "pro-choice" support to partial-birth abortions, and give each ten-year-old a fighting chance before chasing him down, cracking his bones, and slurping the delectable marrow from within. I feel much better, now.

In a stroke of pure brilliance, Bush gave $500 million to Mexico--one of the most corrupt countries on Earth--to fight a drug war. What's next, handing out crisp $100 bills ta gang-bangin' homies in da hood, so dey can buy "growshrees" fo dey chillun?

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