Headline Headaches

From Word Net Daily: "Feinstein to Bush: Free Border Agents"

Bush to Feinstein: "Nah, I reserve amnesty only for illegal Messicans."

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From Breitbart.com: "Report Says al-Qaida Seeks to Attack U.S."

Wow, that's like saying, "Clouds are billowy and white, except when they are storm clouds, in which case they are dark and thundery."

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Elizabeth Edwards: "Hillary behaves like a man."

Big deal; so does her husband. They're both faking it.

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U.S. Eyes Direct Talks with Iran

Sure, I can see it now:

U.S.: "Howdy, Iranians."

Iran: "Die, Great Satan!"

U.S.: "Hey, we're makin' progress! They called us 'Great!'"

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Senate Democrats refused to flinch Tuesday as the chamber moved toward a rare, all-night session of debate on legislation to bring troops home this fall.

They called for sleeping cots to be rolled into a room off the Senate floor and told members to prepare for repeated votes throughout the evening.

C'mon, we know the real reason behind the slumber party: so Ted Kennedy could sleep off the popskull, and some others could get to know their interns better.