She Gots a Dreem

From a speech given by Hillary Clinton, at the Church of Perpetual Smug Blackness, in Atlanta, Georgia:

Powah ta da peepull! Lemme brake ya off a l'il sum'in sum'in: Lawd, we been tryin' so hahd, fa so lawng, but life fa us ain't been no crystal stair. Da man wanna keep ya down. Kin I git a witness-ah? Da only place whitey wan' us hangin' 'roun' is from a tree in da middle'a town. Kin I git a ay-mayun? He be dissin' brothas an' sistas lef' an' right, an' his po-po be puttin' six warnin' shots in da back'a our haids.

But I'm runnin' aginst all da oppressuhs. I'm innit ta winnit, an' I'm too lajit ta qwit. I'm comin' atcha straight up outta Compton, an' Ize sayin' stan' up to da 5-O! Get out da Bushes an' vote yo conchunce. Fo'git readin' 'ritin' an' 'rithmuhtic. Homey don' play dat. Das' slaver branewarshin', rite dere. An' who needs Eenglish when we gots Ebonics, wit' a lot mo' dynamik vocabbylarry.

My huzbund was da firs' Afferkin-Amurricun prezadent, an' he felt yore pain. He unnuhzstood dat yo chillun needed wellfayuh. He unnuhzstood dat gang-bangin' wuz a cry fo he'p. He reelized dat sellin' drugs wuz jest ta pay da bills an' buy groshrees. He new how ta roll a toke wit' da best uv'em.

Well, I'm jest like'im. I may be vanella on da ou'side, but I'm choklit on da inside. Wit' yo he'p, I'll serv as da furs' Femail Afferkin-Amurricun prezadent. I'll rep-uh-zent yo intrusts, an' stan' up fa yo sivul rites. I'll tell da wurld dat it takes a gangsta ta run a 'hood, an' it takes a 'hood ta raze a childe. If ya ax me, we gonna take it awl da way ta da White Hiz-owse, cuz diss babee gots back, an' she too bootylishus fo ya, babe. Fo shizzle.

So whin my ebony brothas an' sistas stan' up awl ovuh da kuntry an' cry wit' a louwd voyce: "Iz ya iz, or iz ya ain't my nigga?", yu'll see me nod an prowdly anser:

"@!#$%^&* --A, I iz!"

Peece out, y'all. Keep own keepin' it reel.