Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Take the Power Back

I believe we Evil White Devils should load up our demon spawn and go back to Europe. After all, we are monstrous usurpers who have stolen an entire continent from the Mexicans. Remember when Columbus landed on San Salvador and traded whacks on a pinata with the Mexican peasants? How 'bout when Louis Jolliet and Jacques Marquette plied the waters of the Mississippi with their Mexican interpreter, in the 1600s? Without him, they never would've communicated productively with the Indian tribes of the region--all of whom were Mexicans in warbonnets and spoke Spanish. And I believe I recall the Jesuits setting up a mission to the Mexicans of Quebec. True, they spoke French, but they were as Mexican as Tijuana. Of course, let's not forget that the Russians parted with Alaska due to a plethora of taco stands; they wanted a greater variety in food; and the Mexicans, Santa Anna bless 'em, gave them death by burrito indigestion. Tennessee has a long history of being populated with Mexicans--going all the way back to the Revolution, in which my granddaddy eight times removed fought in the Fifth Chalupa Brigade against those Lobsterback Blanco Devils. Even Jorge Washington, the father of our country, was a bona fide Mexican.

So change your dastardly ways, gringos. Pack 'em up and ship 'em out. Do the right thing, for a change, and stop swiping continents from the peaceful, enlightened peoples of the Western hemisphere. Quit bein' the personification of evil.

And stay away from Antarctica, too; Mexico's already claimed it.

Viva la Raza!

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