Bush Defends Spying

"We're in the business of defending the American people, and that's exacatically what we're doing. If that means we have to monitor each and every phone call that comes out of your house to Papa John's during a football game, that's what we'll do. If it means slogging through the contents of your septic tank, that's what we'll do. If it means installing a camera in your showerhead, that's what we'll do. If it means reading your 16 year-old daughter's diary the day after prom night, that's what we'll do. If it means interrogating your MD on the number of times he asked you to cough while wearing one of those little paper gowns with air conditioning in the back, that's what we'll do. If it means implanting a transmitter under the skin of your gelatinous rump, that's what we'll do. If it means revoking your constydelusional right to security of your person, home, or property, that's what we'll do. If it means rolling our eyes at the notion of court orders, that's what we'll do. If it means discarding the outmoded concept of probable cause, that's what we'll do. If it means arresting you, stripping you naked, and throwing you into an oubliette--that's a word in Texas--for the rest of your natural life, that's what we'll do. We're you're Big Brother, an' we dern-tootin' mean to protect you. But we'll do it according to the law."