You Jest Might Be a Liberal: Part 2

If you believe Howard Dean fits the legal definition of sanity. . .you jest might be liberal.

If you believe John Kerry is more lively than a cigar-store Indian. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If you don't believe John Edwards is a metrosexual. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If you believe Algore is human. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If you believe Bill Clinton could exercise zipper control in an AIDS-ridden African village. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If you believe Man devolved from apes. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If Karl Marx is your greatest philosophical influence. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If you believe the Hanoi Hilton provided three hots and a cot for its guests. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If you spit and mumble the words "baby killers" under your breath every time someone mentions Vietnam veterans. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If you were terrified of invading Iraq for fear of the horrors Saddam might unleash on our troops, but insist that Bush lied about WMDs. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If you drive a diesel pickup truck or SUV while screeching about global warming doomsday scenarios and oil conservation. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If your favorite song is "Feelings " or "Imagine". . .you jest might be a liberal.

If you don't use The New York Times in house training your puppy. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If you believe there is a right-wing media bias. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If you believe religious conviction is a sure sign of mental instability, with the exception of self-detonating, America-loathing Muslims. . .you jest might be a liberal.

If any of the above ticks you off. . .you jest might be a liberal.