Sometimes I find myself ruminating and asking myself questions about American life and cultural figures, such as:
Where does Hillary imprison the souls of her victims?
Is Ted Kennedy's brain pickled? (ok, ok, I already know the answer to that one).
Will feminists ever understand that women simply are not men with different plumbing? Also, if men are so worthless--given that all of them are dormant, Neanderthalian rapists--why is emulating these boors a good thing?
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie-Roll center of a Tootsie pop?
At what point will our government and its satellite lobbyists get the picture that throwing money at social ills is not a cure--when the U.S. and its citizens go bankrupt?
Here's one for Republicans: what would Bush have to do to ensure that you turn against him and begin seriously questioning his competence and loyalty to America? Sacrifice a child to Quetzalcoatl on a stone altar on national tv and drink its arterial blood from a silver chalice?
Does anyone know or care about what became of Kato Kaelin? If you have to ask me who he is, you've answered the question definitively.
Am I certifiably insane for concocting this ridiculous list?
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