Global Confusion

Apparently, a side-effect of global warming is record low temperatures in India:

INDIA'S capital New Delhi recorded its lowest temperature for 70 years yesterday as unusually cold weather continued to cause havoc across Asia.

When I was a stripling, the prevailing theory amongst environmental nail-biters was that a new ice age was about to freeze up the works. But we've made a 360-degree turnaround from a winter-wonderland, thanks to modern innovations in junk science.

I'm not convinced global warming is occuring. Theories disseminated by chicken littles, leftists and dirt kissers never impress me. But even if hard, irrefutable evidence for this phenomenon is brought forward, assigning blame to the U.S. for this trouble is a Grand Canyon-sized leap in logic. I mention this last because America is the devil du jour, as the French would say.

Environut: (Rolling Eyes and frothing at the mouth) "We're all gonna die!"

Normal American: "How can you be sure?"

Environut: "Because we say so!"

Normal American: "Assuming global warming is a legitimate concern, how do we know the sun's radiation output isn't the culprit?"

Environut: "Heretic! How dare you blame Mother Gaia's Giver-of-Life-and-Warmth?! The Sun's radiance surrounds us and binds us all together!"

Normal American: "I think you've seen the Star Wars films a few too many times."

Environut: "America is the source of all Mother Gaia's ills! The U.S. created global warming as a mechanism for enslaving the rest of humanity, just as the AIDS virus was manufactured in a laboratory to the detriment of those of African descent! Death to America!" (Begins drooling and contorts in a fit of apoplexy)

Normal American: "Guard, you can open the door, now. I know these walls are padded, but I believe he's injuring himself, just the same."