Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Bizarre Celebrity Children Names

As if you needed additional proof, most celebrities are nuts. Here are a few names entertainers graciously have bestowed upon their children, bringing them (the celebrity parents, not their children) much pleasure in the process.

Moon Unit
Dweezil
Ahmed Emuukha Rodan
Diva Muffin

All the above are Frank Zappa's children.

Apple: Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter.

Heavenly Hirani Tiger Lily: Michael Hutchence's daughter.

Prince Michael and Prince Michael II: Michael Jackson's children.

Elijah Bob Patricius Guggi Q: Bono's offspring.

Zowie Bowie: David Bowie's child.


I'm not sure if a "Diva Muffin" is Whitney Houston's favorite breakfast food, or her best-loved drug. Paltrow's kid probably will be the butt of many unpleasant jokes for her entire life. I just hope she doesn't grow up to be a bad Apple, as a result, and rotten to the core. And I wonder what kind of magic mushrooms Frank Zappa ingested, just before scribbling those atrocities on their respective birth certificates? Who knew that Hutchence brought a Peter Pan character into the world? Seems like he spent way too much time in Never Land. Speaking of Never Land, I didn't know Michael Jackson was royalty. Oh, yeah, he's the king of pop. Never mind.

Asked once why he gave his children such unusual names, Zappa reputedly said simply: "Because I wanted to."

That kinda says it all, doesn't it?

I think I'll name my first child John Smith, just to balance the scales a bit.

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