I filched this from the internet. Like George Washington, I cannot tell a lie. I didn't write it, but I wish I had.
How To Know When You're Growing Older:
Everything hurts, and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work anyway.
The gleam in your eyes is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like you really hung one the night before, and you were in bed asleep by eight.
You get winded playing chess.
Your children begin to look middle-aged.
You join a health club and don't go.
You begin to outlive enthusiasm.
Your mind makes contracts your body can't meet.
You know all the answers, but nobody asks the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 years ago today!"
You sit in a rocking chair and can't get it going.
Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
You're 17 around the neck and 42 around the waist.
You stop looking forward to your next birthday.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
Your back goes out more than you do.
A fortune teller offers to read your face.
You turn out the lights for economic reasons rather than romantic ones.
You remember this week that last week was your wedding anniversary.
You are startled the first time you are addressed as "Old Timer".
You answer automatically when someone addresses you "Old Timer."
You burn your midnight oil after 9:00 p.m.
You sink your teeth into a steak and they stay there.
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when you see a pretty girl walk by.
You get your exercise acting as a pallbearer for your friend who exercised.
You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
The best part of your day is over when your alarm goes off.
The thought of getting out of bed never occurs to you.
Haha, and I thought getting old would be awful!
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